smitten

i've seriously been grinning like a goddamn idiot ever since i met her.

it's kind of awesome.

a little bit stronger, a little bit thicker, a little bit harmful for me

smoking on a rainy day with a mug of warm apple cider is still one of my favorite things in the world.

loving people is hard

especially when you used to date for 5 years and now they don't want to see you but you still just want to take care of them and make everything better but you don't know how to and they won't let you anyway and instead everything just seems to have turned to shit and and i just want you to be happy and okay and for it to be okay even if that means we're not okay. but you're not, and we're not, and i just don't know what to do. i know it's not my job to fix things for you but i will always love you and i guess for me loving you also means wanting to fix everything for you because loving you means dying inside every time i see you hurt and lately you seem to hurt all the time.

but i can't fix it. (i've tried). i wish i could.

i've been waiting for something sufficiently awesome with which to break the silence

which is this: pretty sure i just saw one of my ongoings on okc. yeahhhhhhhhhh. and i thought seeing previous students on there was weird.

p.s. now i'm gonna be super fucking awkward around her cuz she's really hot and even though i can't tell for 100% whether or not it's her (she only has one pic that's from a bit of a distance), there's no way that she's not gonna know that i'm me.