admittedly, it was pretty sweet to do nothing but sit on the couch and watch t.v. those first few days, but the novelty of being a lazy asshole wears off quick. and now i'm in this stupid state of physical purgatory in which i feel fine and can do just about anything virtually pain-free, but i still can't quite 'exercise' (i.e. do things that work my sweat glands), and i definitely can't run. even walking is slightly problematic, although that's probably only because of my tendency to push things just a little too far (it didn't feel like 3 miles, i swear). but it's not fair! i don't want to be stuck in the house all day, with nothing to do but read and nap. i want to be outside running. i want to be in the middle of training for the lake county half (which i already paid for). i want to keep working on my tan without having to actually lay out in the sun. i want to be out engaging my metabolism so that it can (at least somewhat) counteract my stomach's rampant desire for ben & jerry's half-baked frozen yogurt (which, by the way, still has more calories than most brands of regular ice cream). i want to be out enjoying the gorgeous weather in the best way i know how (you know, by running in it. in case you missed that.). i just feel so fucking antsy, and i know that even once i can start going to the gym and working up a sweat on those godawful machines (which should be any day now...), this feeling won't go away. there is a release, a happiness, a satisfaction that i get from running which doesn't happen during any other type of exercise. it's not just the bodily satisfaction of getting a good workout. there's something more--something mental, spiritual--that accompanies the tired relief of a good run and makes it about much more than calories burned or hours logged. i can't describe why exactly, but running makes me happy in a way that nothing else can.
so i just have to keep reminding myself that once this recovery time is over, my new-and-improved mutant muscles (as bw calls them) will have free reign to inhabit the asskickingness they were made for. which (hopefully) means that i will be able to thrive on running more than ever.
