there's just nothing left

i have to have a lesson plan ready by 8:30 tomorrow on a play i haven't yet read. my eyes feel so heavy that the thought of moving from my desk to my bed seems excruciating.

i really hope i can wake up in the morning.

she cries, and i feel nothing.

i think i'm turning into a dude.

i make me only marginally easy to love

there are a lot of things i prefer over this.

i don't know what to put here either

i'm sorry.

i'm so fucking sorry.

i don't even feel things anymore. not love. not hate. not anything.

i just wish i knew what went wrong. what we did. what i did. what broke us.

i wish i knew how to go back to us. i wish i knew how to get back the me that was me when we were us.

i wish