there are a lot of steps involved

the problem with a shower schedule that corresponds with my running schedule: on the one or two days of the week that i don't run, it is really hard to convince myself to still shower. and by "it is really hard to" i mean "i usually can't."

oh yes i love her like pussy, money, weed

the situation outside right now--cold morning air and fresh, unadulterated snow--is one of only two situations in which i kind of like the winter (the other being snowfall at night, particularly when yellow streetlamps are involved. cliché, i know.). it reminds me of the joy-grape in keats' "ode on melancholy"; this moment is so peaceful and beautiful precisely because i know that it will be gone shortly. the grey daylight will eventually set in, the sidewalks will eventually be shoveled, and the beautiful, untouched snow on the sidestreet facing my window will eventually turn into dirty, grimy slush. before that happens, though, i'm going to go enjoy this moment in the best way i know how. (do i really have to say it?)

because i have so much else i should be doing

oh man. it's been a while. but since i really only blog when i have no time for it, here i am. i don't really have anything "witty, startling, or otherwise useful" to share, but i thought i'd just check in and say what's up, and maybe discuss a few things that i am currently not in favor of:

-when students think that tracing their reactions to a text constitutes analysis: "i chose this poem because it really stuck out to me when i first read it. the imagery used by the author just really spoke to me and i felt like i could identify with it." really? cuz i was assuming that people generally write on texts that they totally hate and don't connect with at all. good to know.

-when graduate professors assign work that functions almost solely as busy work. actually, this is really just a one time experience, but it annoys me every time i think about it.

-when it's motherfucking holyshit fuckballs cold outside. yes, i am aware of the fact that i live in wisconsin. and no, i don't remember why i thought moving here was a good idea. but i'm pretty much going to complain about it until i move somewhere else.

-and speaking of moving. another thing that i really really hate. especially when i have to move 3 days before prelims.

i hate when he gets caught in the middle of this

i don't know why i thought it would be a good idea to get my hair cut at this point in the semester. i am always on the verge of a fucking anxiety attack as it is, and here i am self-imposing an experience which i knew ahead of time would make me instantly feel like crying and screaming and ripping my fucking eyes out all at the same time. i just want to find one person in madison who can do what i need with my hair. i can't deal with this feeling right now. and i'm already 2 hours late for a discussion post that i have yet to begin writing, and i have so many millions of things to do today and i don't think i'll be able to make it out for a run before it gets dark which is only going to make this feeling worse and fuck and fuck and fuck.

if you see me tomorrow with bandaids on my arms, you'll know why.